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DIDN'T I SAY (Free verse) by massangel62

didn't I say I loved you didn't I say I cared didn't I say forever I'd be waiting for you right here you didn't take me seriously you thought it was a lie how can I prove to you that my love will never die just open up your heart open your eyes and you will see that everything I said to you I meant it, seriously.

timtonio 6-Aug-04/6:33 PM
"just open up your heart
open your eyes and you will see"
Because open was already used on that first line.. It may look better if you used another word for open..in the first sentence..like unlock? on the second line or used it in a series for instance
Open up your heart
Open up your eyes
Close down your ... etc...

also.. you don't need to write "I meant it, (and)seriously"
I meant it and seriously basically mean the same thing in this poem..
I don't know.. It was pretty straightforward. I'm sure this was the intention and it did well in that respect..However it lacks in creativity..




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