Replying to a comment on:

Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk (Free verse) by Venus

Once… Freshly laundered attire Downy-fresh and Gap-folded tucked away in the correct Oak drawer Now Tank tops and yoga pants strewn about and half-dirty lingerie languishing away in Corona boxes There were meals with more than one course healthy after-school snacks and strawberry smoothies and a proudly bursting dishwasher everyday Now Styrofoam and cardboard guarding open space in the fridge arguing with a sour quart of milk There were the farm duties of family the grocery store and the spelling tests summer camp and vacations to be planned Now Buy more TP, attend a Sedaris reading party upstairs and swallow margs across the street politics du ’jour and a new piece to write Basket of fresh towels in the bathroom serves few Nudes on the walls just clash with putty-colored paint sloppily applied by a former ghost of this box I now call “home”

Shuushin 27-Jul-04/10:39 AM
I think with one "unlike now/...different life once" set and some indentation for that section it would make it pretty clear?

you might also set it up like a lyric, using that set (plus a bit more) as a chorus then a bridge to set up the last bit.

That could work too, I think.




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