Poemranker [Replying] Sat May 04 14:46:54 PDT 2024

Replying to a comment on:

The American Soldier (Sonnet) by x0lovelylarnx0

A soldier goes off to war He hopes he's coming back He sits and waits for more On his way out he carries a sack Hopes he never has to see a friend die He preys to God he won't have to fire He can't sleep or lie He listens to every command from his sire Thank god for all our troops They are giving up months of their life When they could be shooting hoops Instead they signed up for a fight He gets off his boat When he saw his family he found hope

?-Dave_Mysterious-?

24-Jul-04/5:04 PM

What are you talking about? This poem is quality. Lines of such import as, "On his way out he carries a sack" are a rarity, both on this site and on the professional circuit. And in this context, the line provides an almost sublime climax to the first verse. If I need say more, consider the following considerations:

The pun on "pray" in the second verse is deliciously satirical, whilst the subsequent line leaves the reader free to dwell upon what horrific battle injuries might prevent one from lying down; having one's back blown off by a landmine for example, or cramp. We are then treated to another transendent verse ending with, "He listens to every command from his sire." With this antediluvian imagery, I believe the author is making a point about the timeless nature of war.

I must confess, by the third verse I was moved to tears. The though of all those poor soldiers having to refrain from "shooting hoops" (a coloquial reference to the popular sport of netball) for several months was simply heart-rending.

However, the last line just leaves room for an ember of hope. Wonderful. A well deserved 10 here I think.

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