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Why (Free verse) by J.B. Manning

The way I see So deeply Inside my own mind The absence of space And time Gently pressing Teasing testing Daring me to find Whatever it may be That motivated me To find the line between The words you’ve yet to speak Your love is all I seek And yet I’m sick with grief My heart was ripped out by a thief Questioned by an unknown source Pushed forth by some unknown force Braced against an unlocked door Labeled as a worthless whore In the corner where I weep I close my eyes and pray for sleep When dreams they come and rescue me I’m one and free within my dream Until I wake and want to scream For all the things that I have seen And wondered all the days gone by A single question in my mind WHY GOD WHY!

Quarton 3-Jul-04/10:38 AM
Nice try but this just doesn't work for me. Sorry:)
IMO, you should try writing poetry with no rhyme.
This would permit you to use words other than those
which rhyme and perhaps improve the content and flow.
For most poets today, rhyme is seldom used and when it
is, much skill is needed to avoid sounding forced or
using words that are obviously chosen based upon rhyme
and not on their merit. Robert Frost could do it but
for you and me, free verse is much better. So use rhyme
sparingly until you become more proficient as a poet.

I hope this helps.




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