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afraid (Free verse) by hbhpoems

I feel afraid when all the abuse comes to my mind " He is whispering in my ear I have something on my body that is just like a lolliop The smell of Alchol is making me sick When I lick on his personal lolliop I taste a bitter Taste. It seems as it is happening now instead of the past " I am lying down on my bed as a theif in the night he enters my room." I am your cousin it is okay. 11 years old and knows that it is a lie. I try to push him off but he is much stronger then I am. A kiss on my lips stealing the little innocence I have lefted. " A little girl in a blue lacy dress. He is telling her that she is a cute thing. That is Why he touches her and kisses her. 5 years old and no where to turn she cries. He then gives her a doll to Play with" Now 23 years old and still afaid That he will repear again has a theif in the night

nentwined 26-Jun-04/1:03 PM
While I'm sure this is a poem about yourself and all the abuse you have suffered, you're not doing a very good job of expressing it. For one, it's a very tired theme, and there's nothing new in your treatment. For two, it's pure showing-not-telling, and while there are exceptions to that rule as any other, this is not one of them. For three, there's very little flow to the piece.




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