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The Unknown Soldier (Other) by abcmonkey78

We just finished studying WWI in Modern World History, so I wrote this: Upon the plains of sorrow, upon the worthless land, I am the unknown soldier, and that is where I stand; There's ceaseless noise around me, that carries with it death, And all the more I think about it, fear disgruntles breath; The iron hawks above me, will cry their deathly call, 'Till one will wound the other, and the wounded one will fall; The leaded hornets pass me, whos sting is so severe That if we had collided, I would not be leaving here; Behind me, past the trenches, five miles from this hell, Are fields full of crosses, where many men rest well; But I will progress further: my life that cannot be, For my generation's boat is still a ship thats lost at sea.

abcmonkey78 12-Jun-04/10:57 AM
Maybe this for that line?
"And all the more I contemplate it, fear disgruntles death."

And possibly this to replace the "navy" like ending, which I understand could be awkward.

"For my generation's limb shall be the one torn off the tree."

And finally, yes, I have very little education as to where semicolons should be placed. So if you raise an eyebrow to any, it's got a high possibility of being misplaced.




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