zodiac11 Jun 2004

Shut up. Or, even better - since you're not going to follow my advice, anyway - learn to fucking type.

And incidentally:
"Torper" is correctly spelled "Torpor."

Almost all of your commas require spaces after. Dashes, when used properly, should either be doubled (word--word) or spaced (word - word). As none of yours are used correctly, I don't think you need to worry about that part yet.

"Lose" should be "loose."

This poem is rather crappy - mostly because of your last line, but at least ten percent because of the idiotic comments with which you've besmeared this site today. Hey, and here's a prognostication for you:

Doug: Fuck you. I know as much about writing as you!

Jaime zodiac: Not. I have a Master's in Poetry from an accredited Poetry School, and besides I don't give a fuck what you think about writing or anything else for that matter, no returns.

Doug: Stuffy intellectual elitist! You're what's wrong with poemranker and btw I gave all your poems zeros.

Jaime zodiac: cock.

Doug [a week later, at most]: ...