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Bugs (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

I don't mind so much when insects explode on my windshield. So colorful these small Picassos Thin green wings splay over a jealous yellow blur shimmery silver plays on a fluid blue signature. The way humans die is not so vivid. Slowly browning and wilting. Inside, a monochrome.

god'swife 9-Jun-04/12:32 PM
Humans die all sorts of ways, so be more specific. Name someone who died that way. Also aren't you describing what happens after death?

Kill the 'on unforgiving...' line. the line before it is so much more interesting and the audience already knows windshields are transparent. "Jealous" how is it jealous? I don't know what the next 2 lines stand for, but it would sound and look better without the 'a' before fluid. What do those lines mean? It isn't clear.




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