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Wedding Day (Free verse) by Caducus

At the fallen portico An arrogant wind rocked the last beam. I walked upon fragrant bones Where hopeless rose bouquets Touched desperate clambered palms Of the garish unnoticed. Grandfather wound his watch Coughing blood in to ironed silk Ignoring and noticing changes Exuding wry misery Glimpsing at the only glance of happiness Till it fell, like doomed seams of icing. Her vanilla gown was lifted Like spirits sighting Our hesitant kiss on still lips. Gray expressions sauntered Through glimmering colour And clinking claps, As Grandfather clamoured To the vol au vents.

god'swife 9-Jun-04/11:45 AM
You know there are some fantastic images here, but then you drown them in muck.

That first stanza is romantic and quite musical intil thee last line. reminds me of Garcia Lorca and than at the end it's like eating the last peanut in the Cracker Jacks and it tastes all rotten and soggy. Do you take writing poetry seriously, or are here because your bored?

Her vanilla gown was lifted. I like that line. it has a nice assonance.





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