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I love you (Free verse) by AskittlesK

My days are passing before me I'm feeling pain throught my veins. I'm feeling remorse and out of control. I'm not hanging onto my life anymore. I'm losing my grasp on reality, Until at one point I feel even worse, Just when I'm about to give up all hope, Something happens to me that seems to work. I've got a new friend,who has felt like this before. Who seems to read my mind, every time when I usually close the door. I never thought anyone could read my mind like he can. I thought I was going insane until I met you. I don't know what I'd do without you, I couldn't imagine going on without you here. I'd be angry, lost, alone, sad and decaying... Life would be bringing me down again, I wouldn't want to live anymore. It wouldn't be worth living if you weren't there, I love you

zodiac 27-May-04/10:08 PM
I have a suggestion and would you please do me the favor of taking it halfway seriously? The suggestion is this: write a poem in which something happens. It shouldn't be something very big (i.e., death) or important (ibid.), just anything - some action from beginning to end. I'm not asking you to change your whole whatever, just take a crack at it and see if it feels better than being endlessly mocked for posting these same silly angst poems. What've you got to lose, really?

Please, I'm being utterly serious right now, having just watched a very touching movie in which something very moving happened to a lonely man who didn't do - something I can't remember, or maybe didn't catch in the first place, since I was bawling childlike tears from the first scene on.

Wait, that didn't come out right. I mean to say that I'm not such a monster as the people on this site would have you believe. I DO believe in constructive criticism, and this is it. If you want to improve your writing, you'll try my idea. Consider it an experiment - like broadening your horizons, or a homework assignment from a kindly science teacher whom you've secretly had a crush on all year. Thanks so much for reading this far. I look forward to seeing what you can do. -zodiac




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