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Child of Troy (Free verse) by Caducus

A free spirit Trapped in a pushchair cries Her beautiful name followed by obscenities For staining what is already soiled By the neon Citadel From where the dream soured. Her Mother leans to pick up the burger Chinese proverbs emblazon her back the uneven font coveted by a red frayed thong with pearls. The little girl smiled at me With her green nose and burberry coat Her eyes sparkled like diamonds And her mothers black and concaved I was a part of her brief history Watching a rebirth of destiny In to the future Of another bystanders memory.

god'swife 27-May-04/11:57 AM
It's hard to know who you're talking about at times. The child or the mother?
"Her littler girl smiled at me
With HER(whose, the little girls or the mother's?)green nose..."

You were part of who's 'brief history'?

The prepositionals at the end are terribly awkward, and what exactly is 'a rebirth of destiny'




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