SupremeDreamer18 May 2004

You asked me to give you my take on this poem, so here it is:

The poem is mushy, dull, and whiny. It's another poem where the writer is "reaching out" for acceptance, understanding, and help- Such poems irritate me, and is the sort of thing that wiser poets avoid writing.

Again you've labeled your poem as a lyric, and its not. If you disagree, then explain to me how, in any way, it can be a lyric and actually be sung along with music.

Theres slight hic-ups in your use of the english language also, such as:

'Does the world have [the] time and patiences too see?'

--Patiences? Whats the s for? Theres no plural form
for the word patience, its singular. Also, its good
to use articles in english (the, a, & an) so use
them.

In there line of work their the boss.
I'm only paying the cost.
When they decide to fire I suffer the lost.

--They who? Seizures? Are they some wierd race that
torture those that suffer from epilepsy? Do you work
for them and recieve pay and suffer the loss of a
paycheck if they fire you? Thats quite odd.. doesn't
make much sense really, wouldn't you agree?

So with that said, you'll understand my blessing of zero.