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Win, Win, Lose, Lose (Free verse) by Dovina

A bioengineered nation, top-heavy with old, longevity treatments sold, replenishes its labor force with cheap service, jobs for young poor. Win-win Immigrants come and remain stubbornly foreign, unspeakably Spanish, unchangeably Muslim, un-American. Win-lose Neglecting to die, the old work on, suppressing the young, insulting the immigrants, demanding cheap service, unnaturally alive. Lose-lose

lmp 26-Jun-07/2:21 PM
i do like the message, some of the similies are quite nice:
"top heavy with old", "stubbornly foreign".

the last stanza starts to lose some of the momentum, (maybe that's the point?), so the ending does fall a little flat.

however, i like the topic and the first stanza a lot, the second stanza is pretty good. a few tweaks and i think you'll have it.




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