Replying to a comment on:

Ode to Jack (Free verse) by Skamper

And I shall fall in the hollows of the great pretender to be swallowed by water-colours...chained in their vanity the road to Jack is lost so - come forth the sweet pretender wend you words through the passages of past master’s echo - I will follow the shadowy intrusions you create within my mind - And cry for Jack Empty needles stick to basic principles of sculpted pretty pictures - where is a girl to dream... when every image painted is over-sized and details blurred every word written grabs needily for attention - those who read can see the imitation of their little lives - flushed out and waved about and they all think Yes…that’s just how I feel And poetry is lost

Skamper 24-May-07/11:27 PM
I thought there was some, and alliteration, and assonances. I confess to not editing this at all. I would appreciate any input given, if you can see where this needs work let me know pls. With that said I don't want to lose the 'feel' of lamenting spontaniously about the lack of true poetry.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001