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Happy 40th Anniversary (Free verse) by Dovina

Of what fabric are wishes made? I've sneered a thousand times while candles burn and lips blow smoke birthdays and anniversaries pass the pacts we make to start a thing for better or worse til death brings an end forty nights in the wilderness forty years married then when you’ve come so far and the worst and death refrain isn’t it good to say we’ve come a long way

richa 14-Feb-06/12:50 PM
'Of what fabric are wishes made?' is a punchy line to start with but you make no attempt to elucidate.
It can't be ascertained why you sneer so much.
To start a thing is vague and quite clunky.
The middle of the poem is unarresting.

Death refrain is an interesting use of language.
Good to say we've come a long way is a decent idea.

I just think the poem needs more meat in the place of the cliches of wilderness, anniveraries pass etc.




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