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Sonnet (Sonnet) by zodiac

Off-work Sundays we walked to tide pools, shoppers at a bazaar: here sea glass, here miss, here the urchin, here a clavicle of deadwood scrubbed white, bull’s-eye seastar, here black hobnailed rocks. The ocean turning pat, obsequious, eager to make the sale, held out a short arms-length of argyle, lace, some silk handwork I was sure turning over would show newsprint, whirled stains, some fakery. We walked, bored sunstruck tourists, full as moons, until the tide all in a tantrum klar-ed its buoy-bells, counted, recounted, charged the market, curled back, counted and again swept up, to end things. We welcomed it in.

amanda_dcosta 7-Feb-06/1:40 AM
Your sonnet is good from matter point of view, but I am still not convinced about the structure. I've been reading a couple of sonnets and this is a bit different (again, I might be wrong). I'll give you an 8, and if I am more satisfied I'll vote better, if allowed. Sorry for the doubts. Sonnets are a new subject for me to catch up on.




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