Replying to a comment on:

A Barefoot Day in the Park (Free verse) by Dovina

I’ve decided to sit and wait nothing more to do My feet can take root wet earth between my toes like a girl again moss growing over my hands leaves from my fingers Maybe a child will climb me that boy throwing pebbles onto an empty fountain too much wisdom for his age feeling misplaced not made for this world I wanted to say to him: If not you, who?

wilco 29-Sep-05/9:40 PM
too much wisdom for his age...mmmhhmmmm....it's like they're just popping out knowing everything these days.

I like the first half of both stanzas but i think the end could use a little tweak.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001