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Letter from Palermo (Free verse) by Caducus

Rivers of cataracts were hospice aisles, where canteen zombies raped etiquette bludgeoning my youth as I waited for Grandmas high when she'd call me her husbands name until the drugs wore off and she called me 'Giuseppe' rubbing herself till I cried. Syringe maidens and skin pinchers Came to keep her 'comfortable' As Nan asked for Tea To be made in her Ming China cup. I made her a tea with silver In a plastic cup by plastic sheets She whispered 'Giuseppe'. On her eighty eighth birthday Nan crawled by herself to a window Watched the sun fall like memories, Whispering I was told an Italian name Before paling on the golden lino Clasping a letter sent from Palermo. I buried her with Grand Papa but kept her ashes for the South Wind to take her back to Giuseppe.

zodiac 24-Aug-05/5:03 AM
Rivers of cataracts is kind of funny, since in the most obvious sense of the word it's practically the same thing. Yes, I know about the less-obvious sense of the word. Not worth the cuteness, says I. But then, I did just post one where the ears she boxes are rabbit-ears, so who am I to talk?

Would you consider dropping the air-quotes around comfortable? I think the irony is obvious enough without. Then adding a period and dropping "as" from the next line. Yes, I've a personal thing with "as", and it seems to me like if you're telling a story, like you are, then it's kind of understood that things are happening at the same or almost-same time.

That's about it. This is one of the best of yours I've read.




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