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Sustained (Free verse) by Dovina

With capacity to recognize Shortcomings in himself, The shortfall between his life And his art, He drives toward abasement With inflexible morality, Like a river to the sea, Carrying garbage in its wash. Black eddies shock his soul, Tragedies pinch a narrow life, Something soured, embittered, Like late September smog. He groans and shudders and pushes on. The more he submits to the drag Of moral gravitation, Striving to achieve distance, while cleaving to his friends, The more a reactive thrust rises, Sustaining as he seeks to descend. He drives earthward, pulled skyward, A marvel of levitation. Reactive waves, Rebounding, falling, Rebounding.

Dovina 25-Jun-04/3:04 PM
I take your vote and comment here and your co-opting my title for your recent post as retributions, perhaps deserved. You have been with poemranker for a long time and have written some good poems, made a lot of deservedly respected comments, and have generally established yourself here as someone worth listening to. I could say that your Bukowski poem does not follow the generally accepted elements of poetry and therefore give it a 2 or something. But I like what you are saying and would give a ten, as many others have done, whether it tells, shows, or conforms or not. I could say the same for much of your work.

I am new, and you have far less with which to judge me, but apparently it has been enough. I have written “a piece of utter fucking crap” and I am one of the “stupid, spineless, folk.” I didn’t mind that so much and figured it was part of a general rant. That’s why I said, “Thank you for finding my poem a suitable place to vent your frustrations.”

But your diatribe continued: “How much thought did you put into this poem? How much have you studied about the craft of writing poetry? If this poem is any measure I would have to assume the answer to both these questions would be 'none'.” “You are flat out telling me that God has a special Wonderland . . .” “If you want to write a poem about your faith . . . then it would be far more interesting and touching to show me what in your life has convinced you of this.” These comments are far more cutting than the first.

I responded: “I find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding. The audience reading this will surely laugh as I say that you have totally misunderstood or I have totally mis-written. Sorry to have bothered you.”

From there it only got worse. I’m not seeking a feigned look of sisterly understanding. I would rather hear your bashing if that’s what you mean. In that case I will have to decide how to act in a world where a significant fellow voyeur is hostile.




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